I was alone in the house, my younger siblings took a vacation for All Souls Day. I decided to clean it to keep myself busy. As I sorting stuff and organizing it in a cabinet, I saw an old album.
It took me a few seconds, just starring at it. My memory of my father flashed back. I missed him. He was my gibraltar, he taught me to become stronger and each day he kept on reminding me to take good care of my siblings. His words echoed in my mind, “Anak (My Child) learn how to stand to your decision, be responsible.”
Our father’s are naturally protective, supportive to their children. They are the person who provides us our needs, love and care.Teach us how to be tough.
While I am scanning the old album, I saw the happy faces of my brothers and sisters, as well as Papa.
He is not the type of person who posed for a picture, so all the shots are with actions. Just like one of his photo, he is cooking, the other one watering the plants and the other one fixing something from our backyard.
Every page has lots of reminiscence of him that I always keep and cherries. I become emotional, he died that I am not able to tell him how much I love him, how much I am thankful of being his daughter. The memories of my father brings back to me while I continuously scanning the album.
When I was young, my father taught me, to value everything what I had and have. From clothes up to the food I ate. He always checked even the single centavo I spent.
One time I bought a new dress that I am going to use for a birthday party. And I used my allowance for the whole week. I asked him again for the money for my school expenses. I told him that I used my weekly allowance to bought for a new dress. He got angry and told me that I need to learn how to follow my budget. Of course, I don’t understand his point at that moment. I felt angry too but keeping my mouth shut, one of the rules was, do not interrupt him if he is still talking. And wait for the time that he ask you. Often times, I felt angry to him because he made me feel I am not his daughter.
When I was in secondary, Papa got room to rent, instead of living to relatives near in school. Obviously, Mama was not around to do the cooking and all the stuff. As expected, I did all the school preparations as well as budgeting. I remembered all my complaints for so many why’s and I don’t want. I was barely 13 that time, but I forced myself to do all of it. That moment, I taught so many times, Is Papa too cruel of letting me did this?
Life is truly unpredictable nobody can say what will happen next. That was January when my father died in a cardiac arrest. I am not prepared, we are not prepared. Who can? He was physically fit, he exercised every day. And don’t have any indications that he was ill.
Time flies, although everyday lives are not that easy, we’re able to move on. We learned how to be tough and stand our own way of life. Now I understand him why we raised like that, I don’t know maybe he felt that he will leave us early, only GOD knows.
Every day when I wake up, I always thank him for being such a good father to me and to my siblings. And when I looked back the times that I was crying because I don’t want to go up in bed very early, I smiled to myself and whispered …….. Thanks Papa!